Let your pain teach you how to be pain-free
Sochu Roshi used to say something really strange about pain.
As we tried to keep sitting still through the unrelenting pain, Sochu would often say: “Pain is your friend”.
Going back 30 years, when I lived in London, Sochu Roshi, the abbot of Ryutaku-ji zen monastery in Japan, used to make annual visits to the London Zen Society (which he founded). To many of us, prolonged sitting cross-legged was difficult and very painful. During sesshin, we used to sit for up to eight hours a day in this position.
I used to finish a week-long sesshin feeling really stretched and limber. At the same time, I was stiff and sore — as though I’d been put on a rack.
How that pain could be my friend always eluded me. Not understanding the purpose of that pain, the pain never stopped.
Now 30 years older and just a little wiser, I help people understand and use their pain to live more fully. That’s when their pain stops bugging them.
Understanding pain
When you understand the pain your body gives you, you can interpret what it’s telling you correctly and react appropriately.
When you don’t understand pain, you end up fighting it — and that just makes you as tight as a tick. When you try to tackle pain without understanding what it’s telling you, the pain always wins.
So what should you do?
When you expect a movement to hurt
You need to accept that the movement will hurt a little and just move anyway.
Say your neck is painful and you expect it to hurt when you turn your head to look at something. Just look. Just turn your head.
Don’t turn it carefully or fearfully, just turn. Turn without bracing against the expected pain. When you do this, you do indeed get the sharp stab of pain you expected — but then it’s gone. The rest of that movement becomes incredibly easy.
(There is one exception to this rule: if you’ve just had an accident, you need to stay still until you’ve found out what the damage is. Once you know it’s safe to move, just move.)
It’s exactly the same when you bend your back — or your knee. Once you stop fearing that sharp stab of pain, you won’t get it any more.
Why does this happen?
It happens because you mis-understand the pain
You know that pain is a warning signal telling you that something is wrong. That’s absolutely true: it is a warning signal. What you are mis-understanding is what the pain is warning you about.
You thought the pain was telling you that the movement you need to make is harmful. What it’s really telling you is that the movement you are making is harmful. The pain is saying: “You’re going about this in the wrong way”.
For example, when your neck is painful and you turn your head carefully to avoid the pain, you get the expected pain. You get it because you are turning your head carefully. Once you just turn it (and let your body decide how best to do it) the pain goes.
Would you try to get rid of your best friend?
That’s right. Your pain is your best friend. It’s trying to show you something you really need to know. How can it do that when you keep trying to get rid of it?
Your pain is such a faithful friend that it’s always there when you need its help. When you don’t need it, it leaves you alone.
And, because your pain is such a faithful friend, it doesn’t let itself be put off when you try to get rid of it. Your pain just patiently keeps on telling you that you’re going about your task in the wrong way. It never gives up.
Once you stop, once you let your body work properly, the way it needs to, you no longer need the pain. What does the pain do then? It goes away and leaves you alone.
Could you ask for a more devoted friend than that?
The moral of the tale
The moral of the tale is this: the thing you were doing to try and get rid of the pain is precisely what the pain was warning about. Since you keep doing it, you keep getting the warning. Once you stop, the pain stops too.
That’s the plain truth of the matter. That’s what I missed when I was sitting with Sochu Roshi.
The next step is to put it into practice
What is your muscular pain? Chances are I’ve written an article about your particular pain.
If I have, read the article, do what it says and tell me how you get on. If I haven’t, let me know what your pain is and I’ll write an article specially to help you.
This article is included under the following categories:‒
- Bad back (back pain and stiff back)
- Knee pain
- Headaches, migraines and neck pain
- Rsi pain in arm wrist and hand
Personal Coaching by Philip Pawley
If you want to get the best kind of help, come to me for an introductory lesson in Liverpool.
If you’re too far away, then the next best thing is to get personal lessons and advice from me online at Repoise.com, my on-line school. (Both far-away and local pupils use Repoise).
In more detail:–
If you’re in Liverpool (or can get to Liverpool)
- There’s nothing better than individual lessons. My practice is at 37 Hope Street, Liverpool L1. Ring me on 0151 708 6172 to book an initial consultation and first lesson. (Leave your number so I can get back to you).
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If you’re short of funds, you can still have first class training from me — though it will require a little more work on your part.
The thing to do is have an individual, in-person lesson just once a month. That will entitle you to also get regular on-line lessons from me through Repoise. That way, you have the best of both worlds: in-person lessons and very regular, even daily, on-line Personal Coaching by Philip Pawley from me. That’s a real bargain because Repoise costs the equivalent of three lessons a year to everyone else.
Ring me on 0151 708 6172 if you want to arrange this.
- I occasionally run group lessons. If you’re interested in these, go here for details.
If you’re further away and can’t get to Liverpool
- There’s still nothing better than individual lessons. Here’s where you can find a teacher near you in the UK or elsewhere
- I suggest you also get direct day-to-day guidance from me by joining Repoise.
If you’re having plain Alexander Technique lessons from someone else, you still need to discover the Smiling Back Method of the Alexander Technique. You’ll get a lot more out of your lessons when you do.
37 Hope Street, Liverpool, Merseyside L1 9EA, England
Telephone: +44 151 708 6172 Mobile: +44 7872 905 154
Copyright © 2007-2012 Philip Pawley
SmilingBackMethod.com
